Got Drugs? Now What! – Investing in “What Works” at Home

 When a Parent Discovers Drugs or Alcohol Use: Few moments are as panic-inducing for a parent as finding a vape pen in your teen’s backpack or smelling marijuana on their hoodie. Your mind races: Is my child an addict now? How do I stop this? This session title, “Got Drugs? Now What!”, encapsulates that feeling of what on earth do I do next? The first step is: take a deep breath. Knee-jerk reactions like screaming, punishing harshly on the spot, or flushing things down the toilet while lecturing may feel natural but often backfire. Instead, try to approach the situation calmly and strategically. Evidence-based prevention and intervention means handling it in a way that’s more likely to actually solve the problem rather than just expressing our anger. So, say you find a baggie of pills or your child comes home clearly intoxicated – as hard as it is, lead with concern and curiosity, not just anger. You might say, “I found this. I’m not happy about it, but more than that I’m worried. Can we talk about how this happened?” This opens the door for communication. Your teen might lie or deflect at first – that’s common. But make it clear that your priority is their safety and well-being, not just punishment.

Secure and Dispose – Keeping Your Home Safe: One aspect of “Now What” is making sure any substances in question are dealt with safely. If it’s something like prescription drugs or alcohol you have in the house, secure them. Many teens report that the easiest place to get drugs was right in their home or a friend’s homerxguardian.com. Over 60% of teens who misuse prescription painkillers say they got them from a friend’s or family’s medicine cabinetrxguardian.com. That tells us a very actionable tip: clean out your medicine cabinets of old or unused prescriptions. Don’t hang on to that leftover Vicodin from your dental surgery “just in case.” It’s a magnet for experimentation. Participate in drug take-back programs (many pharmacies or police stations have drop boxes for unused meds). If you have medications you must keep (for instance, ADHD meds, anxiety meds), consider storing them in a lockbox. It’s not about mistrusting your child, it’s about removing temptation and protecting visiting friends or younger siblings as well. If you drink alcohol, keep track of what’s in the cabinet or fridge. Teens often see what’s available and assume it’s fair game if not monitored.

Now, if the “got drugs” scenario is that you found illicit drugs on your child, disposal may be necessary – but involve them in that process. Flushing drugs or tossing vapes isn’t environmentally great nor does it address the root issue. You could say, “We need to dispose of this safely. I’d like you to come with me to drop this off at a safe disposal site, and afterwards we’re going to figure out how to ensure this doesn’t happen again.” This shows you’re serious but also that you see this as a problem to solve together.

Getting to the Root – Is This Experimentation or a Symptom of Something Bigger? Try to assess whether your teen’s substance use is a one-off experiment, social use, or a sign of a deeper issue. Many teens experiment out of curiosity or peer pressure. That’s still not okay, but the approach might focus on education and setting stricter boundaries. On the other hand, if a teen is repeatedly using substances to cope with emotions or is caught in a friend circle where it’s common, that calls for a stronger intervention. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A lot of parents hesitate, thinking “I can handle this” or worrying about stigma. But early intervention is key. You might start with their pediatrician – many doctors have brief questionnaires for substance use and can counsel teens or refer to a specialist. If their use is more entrenched, therapy (especially with a counselor who understands adolescents and possibly substance use) can be invaluable. Sometimes just a few sessions of motivational interviewing with a teen can prompt them to reconsider their choices. And if it’s beyond that, there are outpatient programs tailored for youth that focus on building coping skills and family communication.

Evidence-Based Parenting at Home: “Investing in what works” also means using parenting approaches proven by research to reduce substance risk. We touched on some in the engagement section: authoritative parenting, consistent discipline, warmth, monitoring. Some evidence-based tactics include:

• Set clear rules about substance use. For example, a family rule that “No alcohol or drug use is allowed, and if you break this rule, these are the consequences.” Be explicit and make sure your teen knows the rule and agrees to it (even if they roll their eyes, say it out loud). Studies show that teens whose parents have clearly communicated anti-drug expectations are less likely to use.

• Monitor their activities. Know where your kids are, who they’re with, and when they’ll be home. Not in an overbearing way, but in a responsible, caring way. A curfew, checking in via text, maybe meeting their friends (have them over for pizza sometime). Research finds that parental monitoring is a strong protective factor – teens whose parents keep tabs (within reason) tend to start using later or not at allolympicbehavioralhealth.com.

• Know their friends (and their friends’ parents). If your child is spending time at someone’s house, ideally you have met those parents and feel aligned about supervision. It’s perfectly fine (and wise) to communicate with other parents about rules like “no alcohol in our home for minors” and so forth.

• Praise and positive reinforcement. Catch them doing right. It’s easy to only pay attention when things go wrong, but reinforcing good choices can be powerful. If you know they were at a party and didn’t drink, tell them how proud you are of their responsibility. If their grades improved or they handled stress without melting down, acknowledge it. This encourages them to keep it up.

• Involve them in pro-social activities. Boredom and lack of involvement can lead to substance use. Encourage (but don’t force) things like sports, clubs, music, volunteering – whatever might spark their interest. These give a sense of purpose and also usually place them around peers in a healthier environment.

Address Misconceptions with Facts: Teens often have faulty beliefs, like “Everybody drinks by senior year” or “Weed is natural so it’s safe” or “Vaping just produces water vapor.” Arm yourself with facts to gently correct these. For example: Actually, not everyone drinks – national data say a majority of high schoolers don’t drink regularlythefamilydinnerproject.org. You won’t be weird or alone if you abstain. Or “Natural” doesn’t mean safe – many poisons are natural. Plus today’s cannabis is super high in THC which can cause problems. And vape aerosol isn’t just water – it contains chemicals and nicotine that can harm lungs and the brain. Don’t deliver this as a lecture, but weave it into conversation or when relevant. Being factual and non-hysterical helps teens actually absorb the info rather than tune it out.

Plan for Peer Pressure: Brainstorm with your teen how to say no in situations where they feel pressured. Some teens benefit from having a ready-made excuse: “Nah, I can’t, my mom will literally drug test me” (even if you don’t actually plan to, it can be a useful bluff for them) or “I’m on medication, can’t mix” or simply “Not my thing, guys.” Role-play a bit if they’re open to it. Also let them know they can use you as a scapegoat anytime – like, “My dad will kill me if I do that, not worth it.” Sometimes fear of parental consequence can actually give them an “out” to save face with peers. Make sure to follow through if they do call or text you to be picked up from an uncomfortable situation – come get them no matter where or when, and save any serious discussions for later when safe at home.

Consider Outside Help and Community Resources: If your teen’s use is more than a one-off, you don’t have to handle it alone. There are support groups for teens (and separately for parents). Programs like Alateen (for those affected by someone else’s drinking) or teen recovery groups through local community centers can help them see they’re not alone and learn from others. For parents, groups like Nar-Anon or Al-Anon (which have meetings specifically for parents) can provide emotional support and practical advice for dealing with a child’s substance issues. Schools often have student assistance counselors – don’t be afraid to loop the school in if appropriate; they might have programs or at least keep an eye out.

Follow Up and Keep the Conversation Going: If an incident happened (like you caught them vaping), don’t just punish and then never speak of it again. After the dust settles, revisit the topic. Ask how they’re doing, if they’ve felt temptation again, and reiterate your support. You might say, “I know it’s been a month since we had that scare with the edibles. I just want to remind you why we got so serious about it – because I care about you. How are you feeling about everything now? Have you had any issues with friends pushing you to try stuff?” This signals that you haven’t forgotten and you still care, but also gives them a chance to discuss any lingering challenges.

Finally, highlight the positive alternatives and the future. Teens sometimes use substances out of boredom or as a coping mechanism. Help them find healthier ways to cope (exercise, art, journaling, therapy as needed, etc., as discussed in the emotional chaos section) and to find excitement (outdoor adventures, learning new skills, etc.). Remind them of their goals – college, sports, career dreams – and how staying drug-free will help them get there, whereas getting involved with drugs could derail those plans. Not in a doom-and-gloom way, but in an empowering way: “You’ve mentioned you want to study engineering. Imagine doing that program with a clear head and full energy versus trying to do it while battling an addiction – you have so much potential, and I want to see nothing hold you back.”

In summary, “Investing in what works” at home means focusing on proven methods: communication, strong boundaries, supportive relationships, and early intervention when needed. It’s not about one dramatic intervention; it’s about the steady, day-to-day parenting choices that build a resilient, informed teen. Even if mistakes happen – and they might – those mistakes can be turned into learning opportunities with the right approach. Remember that your influence as a parent is one of the most powerful tools in prevention. By staying involved, informed, and compassionate, you are doing what works. And that investment will pay off in your child’s safety and well-being for years to come.