Strengthening Family Bonds to Foster Resilient Kids

 One of the most powerful protective factors for teens is a strong, supportive family relationship. In the wake of Kristi Lance’s heartfelt message – which reminded every parent in the room how precious our children are – it’s a perfect time to double down on bonding with your teen. Teens who feel close to their parents and who have consistent, caring communication at home are more likely to make healthy decisions and less likely to engage in substance usepmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov. By nurturing trust and staying involved in your child’s life, you make it more likely they’ll turn to you when facing tough choices. Sadly, a recent survey found that over 85% of teens would avoid calling their parents for help and would instead consider driving impaired or riding with an impaired driver, because they fear punishmentpoweredbypartners.org. That statistic is scary – but it’s something we as parents can change by building an atmosphere of trust. Make sure your teen knows unequivocally that their safety matters more than your anger or disappointment. Tell them directly: “I will always be here to help you, no matter what. I’d rather come get you at 2 AM than have you not call and end up in danger.” When teens believe their parents have their back (and will listen rather than just yell), they are far more likely to reach out in a crisis – and less likely to hide risky behavior. Take time this summer to bond as a family: whether through regular dinners, a weekend fishing trip on the Salmon River, or even just a TV show you watch together each week. These little moments strengthen your connection. A teen who feels loved, understood, and accountable to family is a teen who can better resist peer pressure and bounce back from challenges. In short, family wellness is youth wellness – the stronger the family unit, the more resilient and responsible our kids can be.

Practical Tips for Parents:

• Schedule Family Time: Life gets busy, but try to set a routine for togetherness. It could be Taco Tuesdays, Sunday hikes, or nightly walks with the dog. Use this time to talk (or just listen) about what’s going on in your teen’s life. The key is to make it low-pressure and regular. Over time, these moments can lead to deeper conversations when it really counts.

• Show Interest in Their World: Get to know your teen’s interests and friends. Ask them to teach you their favorite video game, or play the music they like in the car. Offer to host their friends for a movie or pizza night (in a supervised setting). By engaging with what they care about, you demonstrate respect and openness, which can strengthen trust.

• Practice Active Listening: When your teen does open up – about anything, big or small – give them your full attention. Put aside your phone, make eye contact, and resist the urge to lecture immediately. Paraphrase what they say (“It sounds like you felt left out when…”) to show you hear them. Often, being heard is what they crave most. If they mention a problem, ask how you can help rather than jumping in with judgment.

• Affirm and Encourage: Don’t let positive behavior go unnoticed. Praise your teen for the things they do right – “I was proud of how you handled that tough situation,” or “You’ve been so responsible about your curfew, thank you.” Positive reinforcement builds their self-esteem and reinforces the value of responsible choices. It also balances out discussions so that every talk isn’t about something they did wrong. A teen who feels appreciated at home is less likely to seek validation through risky behavior elsewhere.