What Adults Expect Matters

 Young people may roll their eyes.

They may answer with one word.

They may appear to be paying more attention to their phones than anything an adult says.

But they are listening.

SAMHSA notes that parents have significant influence on children's decisions regarding alcohol and other drugs and encourages conversations before youth are exposed to those situations.

That influence makes adult expectations an important part of positive social norms prevention.

Children begin learning community norms long before adolescence. They observe which behaviors adults celebrate, tolerate, discourage, or ignore.

Over time, those observations help answer important questions:

What does my family expect?

What does my school expect?

What do adults in my community consider acceptable?

What happens if I make a mistake?

Can I ask for help?

Young people need answers to those questions.

One of the most valuable things adults can provide is clarity.

A parent does not need a lengthy speech to communicate expectations regarding substance use.

Simple statements can be powerful:

"We don't allow underage drinking."

"We expect you not to use marijuana."

"We don't want you vaping."

"If you're at a party where substances show up, you can call us."

"We care more about getting you home safely than arguing in that moment."

Clear boundaries and supportive relationships can exist at the same time.

In fact, they should.

Positive prevention is sometimes misunderstood as avoiding difficult conversations or focusing exclusively on encouragement. But positive social norms are strongest when communities combine support with clear expectations.

The message is not simply, "We believe in you."

It is:

"We believe in you, and because we believe in you, we have high expectations for you."

CDC identifies parental disapproval of substance use, parental monitoring, family support and engagement, and school connectedness among protective factors associated with lower risk of youth substance use.

The importance of expectations extends beyond parents.

Teachers establish norms every day through classroom expectations.

Coaches establish norms regarding teamwork, responsibility, attendance, and conduct.

Employers establish expectations for young workers.

Youth leaders establish expectations among peers.

Community organizations establish expectations through policies and activities.

Even casual conversations between adults can communicate norms.

Consider the difference between saying:

"Teenagers are going to drink. That's just what they do."

and:

"Some youth may experiment, but underage drinking isn't something we expect or accept."

The first statement unintentionally normalizes the behavior.

The second acknowledges reality without surrendering the expectation.

Adults should also think carefully about humor.

Jokes about needing alcohol to handle stress, celebrating every occasion with alcohol, or treating intoxication as an amusing rite of passage may seem harmless to adults. But young people absorb those messages too.

This does not mean adults must constantly monitor every word they say.

It simply means recognizing that culture is created through repeated messages.

Positive norms are built the same way.

When adults regularly celebrate youth achievements, support substance-free activities, recognize leadership, encourage healthy coping strategies, and communicate clear boundaries, young people receive a consistent message about what their community values.

This is particularly powerful in a close-knit community.

In Lemhi County, youth interact with caring adults across many parts of their lives. The teacher at school may also be sitting in the stands at a game. A local employer may know a student's parents. Coaches, grandparents, neighbors, faith leaders, law enforcement officers, healthcare providers, and volunteers all become part of a larger network surrounding young people.

That network can create a powerful prevention environment.

Imagine a young person hearing similar messages from multiple trusted adults:

Your future matters.

Your health matters.

We expect you to make healthy choices.

You don't need substances to fit in.

We'll help you when things get difficult.

Mistakes don't have to determine your future.

Those messages create consistency.

Of course, expectations alone cannot prevent every instance of substance use. Young people make their own decisions, and many factors influence those choices.

But prevention is about improving the conditions surrounding those decisions.

Adults cannot control every choice.

We can influence the environment.

We can make healthy decisions easier.

We can make expectations clearer.

We can provide safe alternatives.

We can build relationships strong enough that youth feel comfortable asking for help.

And we can model the behaviors we hope young people develop themselves.

Adults sometimes underestimate their influence because teenagers naturally begin seeking independence.

That independence is healthy.

But independence does not mean adult influence disappears.

Young people still need boundaries.

They still need encouragement.

They still need guidance.

And they still need adults who believe enough in their futures to communicate expectations.

The message does not need to be complicated.

We believe in you.

We expect healthy choices.

And when life gets difficult, you don't have to navigate it alone.

That is not merely good parenting or mentoring.

It is prevention.